I have a son!

My last post was 5 years ago, when I gave birth to Lily. 

I was so surprised recently when I found out that my blog still exists! I have totally forgotten about this blog. 

In this post, I would like to write about my second pregnancy journey, second LSCS and second post partum experience.

I did a UPT on 21/1/24, a day before Azhar’s birthday. So obviously this became Azhar’s birthday suprise. 

when we announced to the family 💖

The second time was way different than my first pregnancy with Lily. This time I craved more for savoury and spicy food. And to my alarm, I lost appetite for coffee during the last few months of pregnancy. 

My second pregnancy was more challenging than before. Age factor perhaps and also because there is Lily who is so attached to Mummy. I was also super busy at work, missing lunch a lot and going back late from work almost everyday.  

I didn’t announce my pregnancy on social media this time around. I rarely take photos so I don’t have many pregnancy photos. 

About 7 months pregnant during Ana’s engagement

38 weeks, a few days before I gave birth

3rd trimester was so challenging ; I was breathless with any physical activity and I had a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions especially in the evening. My abdomen became so hard and tensed, when people touched it they worried that I am having real contractions. To be honest, I was worried too. Since I didn’t feel any contraction before with Lily, I actually didn’t know how real contraction feels like.

I couldn’t sleep well too, especially after 36 weeks. I would toss and turn the whole night, waking up every hour. I couldn’t find any comfortable position to sleep. I didn’t have any pregnancy pillow. I wished Azhar would buy me one after listening to my daily complaint, but he did not. 

I noticed a difference in my pregnant abdomen shape as compared to the previous pregnancy. Although not proven scientifically, I believe that the shape of the abdomen can be a tell-tale sign to whether you are carrying a boy and a girl. With Lily, my abdomen grew sideways more but this time, it grew forward more. I like this shape better, it really made me look pregnant 😂

I put on more weight too (regret this).  I had to do MOGTT twice — Alhamdulillah they were both normal. Now I am dreading trying to lose weight while breastfeeding. How do I lose weight while trying to maintain my milk supply? 

Things I am going to miss about being pregnant :

- almost everyone is kind to pregnant mothers

- people gave me food

- the baby kicks

- the feeling of having someone always with me at all times, going places and feeling emotions 

In this pregnancy, I found out I had an ovarian cyst. First noticed when I scanned myself. I saw a mass which I thought was a fibroid. I was referred to O&G by my MCH colleague. I opted for conservative management throughout pregnancy so I had to go for monthly O&G appointment. Alhamdulillah despite the cyst grew bigger, it did not affect my pregnancy and Allah saved me from any complication ie the cyst did not rupture or go into torsion. 

As for my birth plan, I chose elective caesarean section so I can have cystectomy done in the same setting. Having to go for a surgery later on, when I have a baby that is exclusively breastfed, in Sabah where I don’t have any relative would be such a hassle. So I’d rather get it done now and I can recover during my maternity leave. 

I had a vertical lower midline incision done since I already have the scar from my previous surgery. My surgery lasted for 5 hours. It was done under combined spinal-epidural (CSE). I was push into OT at 10am and my son, Areeq was delivered at 10.55am, Alhamdulillah. Then they proceed with the cystectomy. Alhamdulillah, the anaesthesia worked well and surgery was uneventful. The surgeon who delivered Areeq was the same MO whom delivered Lily 5 years ago! Prior to starting the surgery, he checked the previous surgery record and said “eh saya jugalah yang buat czer awak dulu”. Both times, he said “assalamualaikum” to my babies the moment he delivered them. May Allah bless him abundantly and keep him humble at all times. 

Intra-op and post op, I had bad nausea and vomiting. I lost count to how many times I vomited. I received a couple of antiemetics injection but I still vomited many times for the next 18 hours. I couldn’t even tolerate plain water. 

As for post-op pain management, I was given Celebrex and Paracetamol. They both worked well. I was able to tolerate the pain and walked to the toilet to shower the next morning, although I walked super slowly. I was discharged home with the same pain medications. 

For me, the post op pain lasted for about 1 week. Abdominal muscle weakness lasted longer, about 2 - 3 weeks, so I had constipation during those period. I drank a lot of water and eat plenty of vegetables and tried not to think about it too much. I did not take any laxative. 

I would like to highlight the pain of getting subcutaneous clexane injection post-op for 10 days. There is also the pain of breast engorgement. I had to take painkillers for this. Cold compression helped too.

My son, Luth Areeq Bin Azhar, his first photo

Areeq’s first hospital outfit

Discharge day

When Lily met Areeq for the first time

A family of four ❤

It took me almost 2 months to finish writing this post. Haha. Today, I am Day 48 post delivery. Alhamdulillah, I have completed the 6 weeks post partum period. I did not “pantang” much this time, only for the first 2 weeks. But I tried not to eat spicy food for fear Areeq will have tummy pain and I had to avoid coffee since Areeq can’t tolerate it at all - he became fussy, cranky and can’t sleep. 

Areeq now is on exclusive breastfeeding. I hope and make doa that he will be on exclusive breastfeeding until he is 6 months old and I can continue to breastfeed him until he is 2 years old. I doa that my milk supply is always enough for him and I can supply enough EBM for him when I am not around. 

I bought a pair of wearable breast pump, the Empreus Smart IOT Dreamz. I am so excited to pump with this new wireless pump. It can be controlled via smartphone which is very useful since I’ll be pumping at work, in front of my colleagues and patients. It is also quite silent and not too bulky. 

I’ll be going back to Sabah next week, where there is no Atuk and Nenek who can help look after and play with Lily and Areeq. I’ll be alone, again with no support from family and relatives. 

I doa, my small family, Azhar, Lily, Areeq and I can move to Semenanjung for good soon, aamin. 

New mummy

Alhamdulillah, I am now a mother.

Things didn't go as planned. I delivered Little L a week earlier than my EDD.

It was 2.30am on 23rd May 2019, I had just fallen asleep when I felt my water broke. My first reaction was "oh, no! Not the time yet"

The moment I got up from bed, the fluid gushed out, a lot. I didn't feel any painful regular contraction, just the usual braxton hicks that I have been feeling a lot recently. I took my time to get ready, changed and put a little bit of make up. Then I went to my parents room to wake them up. Of course my mom went into panic mode right away. LOL.

While my parents and Ana got ready, I called Azhar who was in Tawau. That was when I started crying. I didn't want to go into labour alone. Throughout my pregnancy I prayed hard for Azhar to be by my side when I went into labour. I felt like I could not do vaginal delivery alone, I needed him.

On the way to the hospital, we made a stop at 7 Eleven. I grabbed a few buns and milo and ate them in the car. Oh I also had McD banana pie during the ride to the hospital.

I went straight to the labour room. I was attended by a nurse at first. Then the medical officer. This is the perk of being a doctor myself, I got attended by a medical officer instead of a houseman. The houseman was a male, kinda embarrassing if he were to perform a vaginal examination on me.

When I removed my pad to be examined, I noted the liquor has changed colour to yellow. That was not good. It means Little L might not be doing so well inside. I was worried.

The MO confirmed my finding, it was indeed a light meconium. I did a CTG and thankfully CTG was reactive. However, my Bishop score was not favourable. Bishop score is a scoring system that is used to assess the cervix, to see whether it is ready for a vaginal delivery or not. I didn't have any contraction, so unlikely my labour was going to progress any time soon.

The MO and specialist decided that I had to go for a caesarean section. Surprisingly, I felt so relieved.  I know I could go through caesarean section alone without Azhar. I saw the surgery countless times during my service as anaest MO in Hospital Ipoh. I know every single step very well. I was so calm when I told my parents and Azhar that I had to go for caesarean section. Bravo Wani!

I delivered a baby girl, via C-section on 23rd May 2019, 6.24am at HOSHAS Temerloh. She was a small baby weighing only 2.9kg and 52cm in length.

Post op, the entire day I was groggy and I vomited so many times. I couldn't open my eyes, not even to look at my baby. They must have sedated me or it was the morphine inside the intrathecal injection  or the tramal they gave me.

HOSHAS has a weird policy. They didn't allow any caretaker to stay with patients at night. So the first night I became a mother, despite the terrible dizziness, I had to change my daughter's diaper and feed her. I did it. So proud of myself. I guess I am ready to be a mother afterall. Haha.

Meet my baby, Lily Aaira Binti Azhar

Look at that mark under her left eye. That is a forcep mark. It is supposed to go away. But until today the mark is still there. She is now 5 weeks old.

Lily at Day 43 of life

Mummy loves you so much Lily.

Mummy prays you will grow up healthy and well. 

Mummy prays you will be an easy baby to care for and people around you will love you as much as mummy does. 

Mummy prays no harm will fall on you and no one will break your heart ever. 

Mummy prays for Allah to always look after you and keep you safe. 

Mummy prays for you to be anak solehah yang berakhlak mulia. 

And mummy prays for mummy and daddy to be good parents to you Lily. 

Photo taken on 1st Syawal. Our first raya as parents. 

Pregnant at 38 weeks

I am 38 weeks 1 day pregnant today. 

2 more weeks to go. I really hope Little L will be delivered on 1st June 2019. 




Mummy can't wait to see you Little L.

Third trimester, especially after the 36 weeks has been challenging for me.

I flew back from Sabah just a few days before I entered 36 weeks because of airline rule that only allows expecting mothers to fly latest by 36 weeks POA. Azhar sent me back to my Mom's house and then he left me here all alone. I miss him badly. I have gotten used to being pampered by him that when he is not around, things just don't feel right.

My pregnancy has been a breeze until at 36 weeks POA where I started to have right lower back pain. It is painful when I walk or move my right lower limb. There were days when the pain was so unbearable, I cried. Initiating steps after sitting or when I get out of bed every morning is when the pain is at its worst.

I think the pain originates from the sacroiliac joint. I must have injured a ligament or something. It is a common thing in pregnancy, due to hormones relaxin which causes all ligaments to become lax.

I told my ANC doctors and nurses but they seem not to bother much about it. They only told me to take PCM if needed.

https://www.coreconcepts.com.sg/article/posterior-pelvic-pain-sacroiliac-joint-pain-in-pregnant-women/

I have all the symptoms described above. Hope the pain will go away after delivery.

Apart from the back pain, I also have some sort of insomnia. It is so hard to fall asleep at night, despite defusing lavender and gentle baby essential oils in my room. Partly because I cannot find a comfortable position to sleep. The heartburn and reflux don't make sleeping any easier either.

I know all pregnant ladies experience these symptoms especially in late third trimester. I am not complaining. I am actually thankful that God has given me the chance to conceive and insyaAllah I'll be a mother very soon. Writing it all here so that in future, I can recall what pregnancy feels like.

I will definitely miss being pregnant, feeling the baby move inside my tummy, as if talking to me and telling me stories. I love that the most  :)

Little L

I am pregnant! Alhamdulillah.

Now I am at 26 weeks. I am due on 01.06.2019.

I found out I am pregnant back when I was still in Ipoh, a month before my transfer to Semporna. It was an accidental finding.

I was being referred to a gynae for a cyst in my abdomen, detected by my friend, Irma when I went for scan (for fun) at her new clinic. The concern that time was if the cyst is malignant. Alhamdulillah, it is not. It is just an endometrioma.

During the gynae scan, apart from the endometrioma, they also saw, not only one but two gestational sacs. One was in the uterus and the other one was an ectopic. The proper term for it is heterotopic pregnancy. This condition is very rare in a spontaneous conception. Usually occurs in IVF.

When I found out I have heterotopic pregnancy, I entered a state of emotional confusion. I wanted to be happy for being pregnant but I was so scared of the complication of ectopic pregnancy. I was an anesthesiology MO back then, so I saw a lot of cases where the ectopic ruptures and bleed. The fact that I was alone in Ipoh as Azhar was in Sabah and family is in Pahang didn't make things any easier.

For 1 month after the diagnosis (and prior to my transfer to Semporna), I went for weekly TVS scan. Alhamdulillah (again) the ectopic began to shrink until it reached 0.6 cm.

I have not shared much on my pregnancy. In the first trimester, I was still scared that something might go wrong and I will lost the baby. Now I am in my second trimester, going to enter the third trimester soon and I feel ready to share with the world.

Meet my unborn (yet) child.
This was Little L when he/she was just 6 weeks old

My first trimester was not so bad. I could still eat, a lot. I vomited each time I enter a toilet though, no matter how clean the toilet is. I had terrible headache and became so exhausted in the evening. Apart from that, I had nothing to complaint. Lucky me!

This is the latest scan of Little L. See how much he/she has grown :)
Mummy loves you baby. 

I began to feel quickening at 24 weeks. At first it felt like there was a snake moving inside my tummy. I was not sure what sensation it was. After a week, it started to feel more obvious. The movement was bigger and stronger as the baby grows more each day. Sometimes Little L hit my bladder and I have the sudden urge to pee. Sometimes Little L makes repetitive movement. I like to think that Little L is actually trying to tell me something, like "Mummy I'm hungry, go eat now". LOL. Azhar tries to feel the movement but so far, he has no luck.

It is a privilege to be the only person who gets to feel the baby's movement inside the uterus. This is a gift God has given to all mothers.

I hope the rest of the pregnancy will go on smoothly. I pray for easy and uncomplicated delivery as well. And Little L is born healthy. 

I need Little L to come out exactly on the EDD, 01.06.2019. 

To all of you reading this, please say a little prayer for me.

Another New Year

Hello  2019.

2018 has left me a lot of memories.

I got married in April, went for a beautiful honeymoon in Gili Trawangan in May, found out I am pregnant in September and I moved to Semporna in October.

Another wonderful memory is receiving the key to my first house in June 2018. I was so happy and proud.

Trip to Sabah in January to celebrate Azhar's birthday.
We went island hopping and hiked to the peak of Bohey Dulang

In February, went on a trip to Penang with best friend from STF, Yuyu

Organized Thiru's bridal shower, had it at my favorite cafe in Ipoh, the ninety one cafe

The bridesmaids for Thiru's reception dinner in Cameron Highlands

We performed during Thiru's reception, danced to a famous hindi song, Kala Casma

My own bridal shower by BFF from Uni. It was a total surprise.

Another bridal shower by my Ipoh Clan

Bridal shower and also Gea's birthday celebration with my cousins

Solemnization 28th April 2018

Wedding recpetion in Mentakab, 29th April 2018

Honeymoon in Gili Trawangan.
We were lucky we got to visit the beautiful island before it was destroyed by the earthquake

Had a good time staying at Santan Gili Private Villa

Syazwani's engagement in April

Received the key to my first house on 19th June 2018

Yammini's wedding in Teluk Intan

Dini's Wedding in KL

We went to Terengganu for Dini's wedding reception

Attending a wedding together for the first time as husband & wife

Azhar came to Ipoh to celebrate my birthday

The first time my family visited me in Ipoh throughout my 5 years there

Our last meet up, saying goodbye to them as I was going to move to Semporna

Farewell by my Ipoh clan

Farewell lunch at Anaest department HRPB where I worked for 5 years plus

Last punch out at Hospital Ipoh 

29th Nov 2018. The day I left Semenanjung  

Syazwani's solemnization, 22nd Dec 2018

 

Syazwani's wedding reception in Grand Dorsett Subang, 23rd Dec 2018

Met Hidayah at the reception, look at her baby bump!

I was depressed for 1 month when I moved to Semporna. Everything is different here. I miss my friends and family terribly. I miss the facilities that are just a drive away back in Ipoh and KL. I miss my usual food. 

But now, I am totally fine. 

Looking forward for a wonderful year ahead. I am going to be a mother soon. Wish me luck!

2019 please be good to me :-)